35 replies to this topic

[Firock Finion]

Here is a potential back story for the Savages guild. Whether they use it or not is up to them, so I wouldn't consider this "canon" or "official" for them until they say so.

Spoiler

Ah, the Savages of Leiria jungle. Not quite as uncivilized as the name would imply, but you certainly don't want to piss them off without heed. To best understand the story of the Savages, one must go back a long time, to before they were recognized as a faction rather than random tribes; to even before anyone lived in the jungle that they now call home.

Long ago, there was a great empire. The exact name of this empire has been lost to the ages, so most just refer to it as the Old Empire. The Old Empire was immense; so large it's said that only Elves live long enough to see all of it. The Old Empire's size was due to a policy of rapid expansion and colonization, with a military led mainly by Orcs, due to the Orcs' nature.

A fleet of Old Empire colonists arrived at Leiria. For reasons unknown, these colonists had very few Lizardfolk. As it would happen, most of the native habitants of Leiria were Lizardfolk. When the Old Empire colonists encountered the Lizardfolk, rather than integrate them, they drove the Lizardfolk away as they colonized. The Old Empire colonists eventually took all the land of Leiria except for a large, hostile jungle that the Lizardfolk had previously avoided; with nowhere else to go, the Lizardfolk were forced into the jungle.

As the years passed and another generation came of age, the Lizardfolk began to become accustomed to their new home. As they went on with their lives in the jungle, significant events came to pass outside of the jungle. The Old Empire suddenly collapsed; the reasons for this, as with their name, were lost to history, though most believe it was due to the death of the emperor. With no contact with the rest of the Old Empire, society at Leiria began to break down. Multiple noble houses and generals all vied for power over the entire territory, and a conflict broke out.

The conflict subsided and the various factions settled into different areas of Leiria as their own new kingdoms. Most of these new kingdoms ended up blaming the Orcs and their violent tendencies for the conflict and even the collapse of the Old Empire to an extent. For some reason, Frogmen were blamed along with the Orcs, believed to be working in association with the Orcs. With discrimination rising, a large number of Orcs and Frogmen decided to migrate to the only area of Leiria where they could avoid the discrimination, the jungle. Tensions between these Orcs and Frogmen and the Lizardfolk were high at first, as the Orcs and Frogmen were hesitant to trust the uncivilized Lizardfolk; however, a wise Orc leader realized that to discriminate against the Lizardfolk would make them no better than the kingdoms they had fled from. After a few close calls, the Orcs and Frogmen were able to befriend the Lizardfolk, and the three races collectively settled into multiple tribes throughout the jungle.

More time passed; the kingdoms around the jungle continued to mostly avoid it, though they knew of the uncivilized tribes that lived there. The occasional war between these kingdoms continued to break out, which eventually led to one turning their eyes to the jungle. The Elsith kingdom, a kingdom of Humans and Elves adjacent to the jungle, needed resources in order to initiate a war with a neighboring Dwarf kingdom. Believing that defeating the uncivilized inhabitants of the Jungle would be extremely easy, they chose to march on the jungle to acquire what they needed. An army of over seven hundred Elven and Human footmen, and three hundred horseback cavalry descended upon the jungle, led by an Elven general by the name of Annatires.

It was not until two entire tribes had been burned to the ground that the inhabitants of the jungle started to realize just what was happening. Enraged by Annatires' incursion, a Lizardfolk leader by the name of Rentao gathered together all the warriors of his tribe and traveled to the other tribes of the jungle. From there, along with his more educated Orc second in command, Quasadcov, he convinced the other tribes to lend him their warriors as well, to drive away the invaders from the only home they had.

When Annatires' army approached the jungle for the third time, Rentao was waiting to intercept him at the edge of the jungle, along with almost one thousand tribal warriors. Though they were at almost equal numbers, Annatires was confident that their iron weaponry and horseback cavalry would bring them easy victory over the tribal warriors' spears, clubs, and stones. Annatires and his guard contingent rode forward, to try and convince Rentao to surrender. Rentao, curious to see if a peaceful solution could be had, went out to meet Annatires.

Exactly what was said is not completely known, but it is known that Annatires asked if the "Savages" were ready to surrender. Rentao was at first confused, until Quasadcov explained what the word meant. Once he had, Rentao was enraged; many believe that Rentao responded with, "if that's what you call us, then that's what we'll be!" Whatever Rentao said exactly, he then attacked Annatires. Before any of the Elven general's guards could stop him, Rentao had decapitated Annatires, and along with Quasadcov, killed the general's guards as well.

Rentao then went back to the jungle, after giving Quasadcov an important task. Taking Annatires' horse, Quasadcov rode out in front of the Elsith army, with Annatires' head mounted on his spear to taunt them. The tactic worked, and the disorganized Elsith army went charging after Quasadcov to avenge their general as he rode back into the jungle. While it was true that the Elsith army had the advantage of iron weapons and armor, and of cavalry, it was also true that before one advantage they had was that they had been taking the tribes by surprise. Now however, they were ready and waiting for them; from the trees they struck, surrounding and ambushing squads of footmen; the cavalry, unable to keep formation in the thick jungle growth, were also picked off one by one.

Finally, losing less than a tenth of his men, Rentao had successfully defeated the Elsith army and driven back the survivors. Unsatisfied with simply defending his home, Rentao decided to go on the offensive, to make an example of those who would attack their home, and to live up to their new name. A brutal and bloody campaign ensued as Rentao's army ravaged and pillaged the Elsith kingdom, until finally overrunning the Elsith palace and reducing it to ruins.

Two months after leaving the jungle to go on the offensive, Rentao returned with about a third of the army he had first fought against Annatires' army remaining; the Elsith kingdom was in ruins, and the neighboring kingdoms quickly moved in to take what they could from the fallen kingdom. Even with two thirds of the army gone in the end, Rentao's campaign was considered a success. For the first time, the kingdoms around the jungle had started to take the jungle's residents seriously. Uniting the remaining tribes under one banner, the Savages became an established faction in Leiria.

In time, more races decided to join the Savages. Ironically many came from what remained of Elsith, having felt discriminated by the other kingdoms that had taken over. Except for those that carried the symbol of Elsith's royalty or military, they found that the Savages were surprisingly hospitable towards them. Whatever tension there was between those from Elsith and the Savages was mostly forgotten as the next generation came of age. Most recently, the Savages even managed to acquire allies; an army from far away stopped at the Leiria jungle and befriended the Savages. Through association with the "Blood Legion", the Savages then became allies with the far away nation of Rome. Whether the Blood Legion is a part of Rome or independent is unclear to the population of the Savages, but nothing would change the Savages' policy of striking back against any who attack them.

So now, the newest leaders of the Savages turn to the future, ready to face whatever it may hold for them.

Hmm... Okay, now that that's done, how 'bout a little trivia?

The story is 1,370 words in 14 paragraphs. It was written in Microsoft Word in new times roman size 11 font, and takes up just over two pages there.

I am not a member of the Savages, and I don't plan to be. I wrote this upon request by the Savages leader, Renatoboy, as per what's mentioned in my signature. This story is partially what he outlined for me, and partially improv by me.

I went for a documentary third-person style, of the really old-school variety. The impression I was going for would be like some sage writing this up in an old library to summarize years of study.

The characters named, Rentao, Annatires, and Quasadcov, are references to Savages leader and sub-leaders Renatoboy, Antarus, and Qscdv respectively. They are not supposed to be exactly the same though; I figured I'd leave it up to them to maybe have their current Cube World characters be descendants of these characters.

The name Leiria for the territory was chosen by Renatoboy; it's the name of the town he lives in. The named kingdom, Elsith, was just completely made up by me and is not an intentional reference to anything.

My own personal opinion? Biased, because I'm the writer, but... I look back at it and I feel a little underwhelmed. I did at least have fun though.

Now, I'd really like it if everyone who responds is completely honest. I wrote this for practice, and in the long run brutal honesty will help me a lot more than sugar-coated attempts to protect my feelings. Besides, I think I'm mature enough to handle criticism without breaking down.

Edited by Firock Finion, 09 May 2012 - 10:22 PM.

[Renatoboy]

My god... I... I think I might just start crying...

That, my sir, was the most epic thing I have read in over a year.

Also, something you can add to the Trivia section:
Leiria is the actual name of a town, where I, Renatoboy, was born, raised, and still live in.
Just a fun little fact

[Firock Finion]

Done and done.

Glad you like it.

[qsdcv]

This.
Is.
Awesome.

[Antarus]

I, not being a critic could not spot any glaring errors in your writing! I loved it!

The moment I saw the name "Annatires", I knew you were referencing me, and the name "Rentao" just confirmed it for me!

Good job!

[Lt.Sparky]

Aaaw i am not Directly in the Story
Ah well.
i make a Backstory for myself .
16 years ago a Lizardmen Called Mandirf(yea i know i am not good at making names D:)found a little baby Human.
He never saw a Humand before.
But he Heard Storys about them.
so he knew that it was a baby Human.
he took him into his home.
Mandirf was a man of great Wisdom.
And he knew a spell that could make other beings able to understand Lizardman and Orcs.
So he used it on the baby human.the Skin of the baby turned to a slight green because of this.
Next thing he had to do was to give a name to the kid.
After a long time he decided to name him : Sparky (Second Name Igeloi).
Sparky grew up Like a Lizardmen.At the Age of 3 he first saw the he was different.
he was growing a little bit Slower than the lizardmen and had no tail.
At thr age of 5 he finnaly asked Mandirf why he was different.
Mandirf explained it all to him.
Sparky still considered himself as one of the lizardmen tough.
Sparky learned How to use Bow's and Spears very soon.
He made himself a sword at the age of 9.Altough it was made out of Stone it never broke.
because of a spell used by Mandirf.
He is still using that sword today.
Sparky just turned 16 shortly after the war with the elsith kingdom ended.
He became the Human Leader at the Age of 30 after the Lizardmen saw that they couldn't look over so many people alone.
Sparky is using Mostly bow's for combat.But he is good one close combat too.because of his Stone Sword.
he also Speak's the language of the Lizardmen and learned Human Language at a short time.

I tought that i should not make a new thread for this because most of this would be confusing if the Main Story is not read

and Renato i hope you don't mind me makig a Background Story for my Character .

Edited by Sparky, 11 May 2012 - 09:46 PM.

[Firock Finion]

Well, like I said in the trivia, the three named characters in my story are references to some of your members, but they weren't supposed to be the characters of your members themselves. (Otherwise that would mean Antarus' character is already dead.)

The idea was that the war happened long enough ago that everyone who survived it is either dead or really old. (Or an Elf.)

Though I suppose changes could be made. I'd leave it up to Renatoboy's discretion.

Edited by Firock Finion, 09 May 2012 - 11:59 PM.

[qsdcv]

I didn't even realize I was referenced in the story. Wootsers! I should name my character Quasadcov, just to be the same character.


EDIT: Better yet, I should be Quasadcov II, the original's son! That would be fun.

Edited by qsdcv, 10 May 2012 - 12:47 AM.

[ProsaurusRex]

This is good! There's a few things I would change, not because they're wrong, but because I personally think they would sound better. I'll list them, because I'm kind of nit-picky like that.

Paragraph 2
"...with a military led mainly by Orcs, due to the Orcs' nature." into
"...with a military led mainly by Orcs, due to their nature."

Paragraph 3
"For reasons unknown, these colonists had very few Lizardfolk. As it would happen, most of the native habitants of Leiria were Lizardfolk" into
"For reasons unknown, these colonists had few Lizardfolk, which turned out to be the native population of Leiria"

Paragraph 4
"...significant events came to pass outside of the jungle." into
"...significant events came to pass in the outside world."

Paragraph 5
"...For some reason, Frogmen were blamed along with the Orcs, believed to be working in association with the Orcs" into
"...Frogmen were blamed along with the Orcs, as they were believed to be working in association."

"Tensions between these Orcs and Frogmen and the Lizardfolk were high at first," into
"Tensions between these newcomers and the Lizardfolk were high at first,"

Paragraph 7
"Rentao gathered together all the warriors of his tribe and traveled to the other tribes of the jungle" into
"Rentao gathered together all the warriors of his tribe, as well as travelling to other tribes of the jungle," (And remove/change the 'as well' in the next sentence.)

Paragraph 9
"Once he had, Rentao was enraged; many believe that Rentao responded with,"
"Once he had, Rentao was enraged; many believe that his response was,"

Paragraph 10
"Rentao then went back to the jungle, after giving Quasadcov an important task. Taking Annatires' horse, Quasadcov rode out in front of the Elsith army, with Annatires' head mounted on his spear to taunt them."
"After giving Quasadcov an important task, Rentao then went back to the jungle. Taking the dead General's horse, Quasadcov rode out in front of the Elsith army, with Annatires' head mounted on his spear to taunt them."

"...it was also true that before one advantage they had was that they had been taking the tribes by surprise." I don't know what is that I don't like about this sentence, but it somehow seems wrong to me. Maybe not

Paragraph 11
"...overrunning the Elsith palace and reducing it to ruins."
"...overrunning its palace and reducing it to ruins."


That's all. Hope this helps, and if not, well I don't really mind.

[Firock Finion]

@Rex: I'll keep it in mind, thanks. It did seem a little clunky, but I wasn't sure what to do about it at the time.

Oh well, maybe it'll help me next time.

EDIT: Then again, I think some of that was intentional as the writing style I was going for. Couldn't say for sure now. Crappy memory...

Edited by Firock Finion, 10 May 2012 - 09:12 AM.

[BlueTiger6001]

A great peice of work! Personally, I could not even think of writting a peice that long AND THIS INTERESTING! Wow, just wow.

You said honesty, that's what I gave you. Quite a few spelling mistakes in there (they are words, just not the right ones, that's why there is no red line in Word) as well as that you kept putting the city or name over and over.

So rather than: "Fred was cool,so was his brother" you put "Fred was cool, so was Fred's brother" which is fine, yes, but if you do this over and over, it gets confusing to the eye. Other than this, A GREAT PEICE. Even with humour, I laugh so much at this:

"but it is known that Annatires asked if the "Savages" were ready to surrender. Rentao was at first confused, until Quasadcov explained what the word meant."

[Antarus]

I think my first character will be named Antarus, and my second Annatires. Annatires will basically be the guy in the story, but with a bit more head.

[Renatoboy]

"A bit more head"
It‛s my turn to laugh, that was a clever joke.
I will keep my username as it is, because changing it is kinds like changing my IRL name for me.

It‛s just how I go.

[Firock Finion]

A great peice of work! Personally, I could not even think of writting a peice that long AND THIS INTERESTING! Wow, just wow.

I don't remember where I heard it or exactly what the last word was, but there's a saying I like to keep in mind for things: "Anything worth doing is worth doing well/right."

I wasn't exactly planning on trumping Shakespeare, but I didn't intend to just half-ass it and call it a day either.

Quite a few spelling mistakes in there (they are words, just not the right ones, that's why there is no red line in Word)

Really? It always bugs me when other people do this, so it would be a shame if I'd done that too. Could you point them out specifically so I can confirm them?

-as well as that you kept putting the city or name over and over.

So rather than: "Fred was cool,so was his brother" you put "Fred was cool, so was Fred's brother" which is fine, yes, but if you do this over and over, it gets confusing to the eye.

Seems to be the same kinda point Rex was making. I'll definitely have to try to keep this in mind then. Thanks!

Edited by Firock Finion, 11 May 2012 - 03:43 AM.

[Lt.Sparky]

Hm i did edit the age of my character to 30.
The old leader can be already dead by that time and he is just at the right age to be a leader.
But he is the first Human leader.....

Sooo.....Does it seem legit?

[Renatoboy]

Hm i did edit the age of my character to 30.
The old leader can be already dead by that time and he is just at the right age to be a leader.
But he is the first Human leader.....

Sooo.....Does it seem legit?

Seems legit.

[ProsaurusRex]

Seems legit.

Is that a

or a serious statement?

[Renatoboy]

Serious statement. I honesly don‛t mind if members make their own backstory, it helps in RP‛ing. I just don‛t know if Firock is bothered by people clogging up this post.

[ProsaurusRex]

I'm sure he doesn't mind. Besides, this is the Savages backstory, and Sparky's in the Savages.

[Firock Finion]

Serious statement. I honesly don‛t mind if members make their own backstory, it helps in RP‛ing. I just don‛t know if Firock is bothered by people clogging up this post.

If you could clog up my post, I might mind, but since you're posting in the thread, I'm cool. =P

Besides, since I kinda came up with some of this stuff I might as well help out with making sure it all fits together.

The only hitch with Sparky's idea besides changing some of the details on timeline, is the "last leader" notion. In your request to me you mentioned that it'd be the more "wild" races first, (Lizardfolk, Orcs, Frogmen) and the other races came later. The war and subsequent migration afterward is the event I came up with for just that, implying that there were almost no Humans, Elves, Dwarfs, etc. in the Savages before then. Plus that would be back before they were more unified too.

So if Sparky's character was the ages he mentioned, that means it's more likely that he's the first Human leader the Savages have had. Either that or the last one died fairly quickly for some reason.

Edited by Firock Finion, 12 May 2012 - 11:33 PM.

[Renatoboy]

If you could clog up my post, I might mind, but since you're posting in the thread, I'm cool. =P

oops! i meant "thread" xD

Yeah, Sparky could be, historically, the first Human leader.
being that the humans are the most civilized race (after all, we're human )


That is, if there is a human class in the game after all, because if there isn't, I might have people demoted or their races changed

[BlueTiger6001]

Really? It always bugs me when other people do this, so it would be a shame if I'd done that too. (notice this for a non-existing pie) Could you point them out specifically so I can confirm them?

Sorry, dude, I cannot really confirm them. They were quite hard to come by... When I read, I read super slow. But if I read a second time, I just kind of skim and scan through it . I would have wrote them down the first time, but I sat there for 10 seconds thinking "Should I take this down or should I finish this AMAZING story" and I carried on because it was too interesting (I was going to put interging there but I have no idea how to spell it and neither Google Chrome, nor Google, will help me) .

Edited by BlueTiger6001, 13 May 2012 - 04:39 PM.

[vlamer12]

This is amazing, you got alot of fantasy.
This will help you alot, you will see
Anyways, im also kind of tempted to join the savages... but yea, lets just keep that to their thread
Keep up the great work!

Grzzz

vlamer12

[Firock Finion]

Thanks.

I've been considering starting up a general lore thread going off the idea I came up with for part of the back story here. Specifically the whole "Old Empire" thing.

I'm hoping that I can get all the stuff I write for guilds to fit within the same continuity.

Edited by Firock Finion, 07 June 2012 - 04:57 AM.

[vlamer12]

Thanks.

I've been considering starting up a general lore thread going off the idea I came up with for part of the back story here. Specifically the whole "Old Empire" thing.

I'm hoping that I can get all the stuff I write for guilds to fit within the same continuity.

Sounds awesome, but it will be a little tricky to.
Since the more lore you get, the bigger the chance is you mix some things up and it isn't correct anymore
But if you enjoy doing it I would certainly recommend to give it a shot!

Grzzz

vlamer12

[Unit_96]

Hey Firock, do you think you could make up lore for my character? (I am the goblin leader and my IGN will probably be Soros because that has the most votes in a poll on our guild chat). If you dont want to thats fine I wasnt sure if you only wanted to do guild lore or if you wanted to do practice with individual characters too. On topic though, I really liked the back story it kept me interested in the history of "The Savages" and I thought it was an interesting piece on how you incorporated a few of the main races from this guild.

[TheVoxelKnight]

This is awesome! You wrote a really good story

[Damia]

Heres a short version of the story, goku defeats the flying spaghetti monster with one final spirit bomb, saving the earth from the cthulu-like pasta creature.

[Hallow]

I cried 3 times.
And broke 2 iPads in the process.
Somebody make this a movie.
NOW!

By the way, I used to be Pastafarian Tadashii.

Edited by Hollow, 07 August 2012 - 06:23 AM.

[Firock Finion]

Ah nuts, this is what I get for not keeping up with things better on these forums.

@Unit_96: I could, and wouldn't mind the practice, though I would prefer more to work with. What's his personality like? Family? Any other characters you'd want referenced such as friends? Any particular events you'd want to happen in his story? (Besides, I assume, becoming the Goblin leader in the Savages at some point.)

That is of course if you're still interested after the... Nearly six weeks it took for me to respond. (Sorry, my bad.)

@VoxelKnight: Thanks.

@Hollow: I'm not sure if you're talking about my story or Damia's post, but I'm sorry to hear about your iPads. =P

Edited by Firock Finion, 19 August 2012 - 11:36 PM.